14P. Sarah + Longboards

I just got home from longboarding. Ok, so I don't really longboard. I biked alongside Sarah while she showed me how it's done. She did teach me something. I'm not cut out to longboard. I wish I was. But before we get to me failing at gravity, we have more pressing matters to attend to.

Sarah and I were discussing how female "boarders" are just never attractive, at least in Burlington. Case in point, we saw 1 - ONE - female skater on our little outing today. And decidedly, she's going to grow up and touch other girls that look like boys/dress like crazy cat ladies. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just the demographic.

So, longboarding. I have a problem with Gravity. She and I dated for a while, messy breakup - she hates me now. With good reason. I slept with her cousin Lust afterwards. Yeah, they're related. the "Abstract Concept Family" is a tight knit network.

I definitely can't handle planks of wood on wheels. Here is a slightly exaggerated visual representation of my longboarding adventure:

Barely exaggerated. Yes, that is an Ash Ketchum hat. My mom made it for me for Halloween when I was 10. No, you can't have it.